Showing posts with label thoughts and theories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts and theories. Show all posts

Saturday, 4 February 2012

the day roman ruined football forever......

a few years ago, there was this football club in london. the club wasn't very big, powerful, successful or even popular. it came as quite a shock you can thus imagine when this mangy, grumpy old hound dog of a club caught the eye of a certain russian. this russian was mr. roman abramovich, roman to his friends, that guy who had mom and dad killed to his enemies. roman has lots of money, good for roman. roman wants to spend all his money on a football team, good for roman. roman spent all his money on chelsea and ruined football for everyone else, bad roman. naughty.

the problem with huge investment in football is that it starts a trend that is basically impossible to break. in this scenario, chelsea were the trendsetters, soon other clubs jumped on the bandwagon, but for the purpose of this rant, chelsea are the villains we will focus on. roman came into football with the same ruthlessness that made him his millions in russia, simply put, what roman wants, roman gets. as a result, whatever chelsea wanted, chelsea got. the winds of change started blowing through the mediocre club when roman sacked his first manager, claudio ranierie and appointed the mercenary manager that is jose mourinho.

mourinho is without doubt a very talented manager, but his talent is only utilized best when he has a number of blank cheques to fill out to build his squad. the same argument can be made for many clubs and managers, but chelsea's underhanded approach to illegally approaching players and offering the biggest wage packages in football, clubs and players found them hard to turn down.

essentially, chelsea changed the way footballers looked at potential employers, they were no longer solely focused on success or regular first team football, instead they became focused on who will pay me the most regardless of my performance, the answer was always chelsea. chelsea broke the mould and the gentleman's agreement that existed between players, managers and owners. this new concept of huge investment demanded results and when the results don't reflect the huge payouts to players, the managers are often the first to be shown the door and often after only a few games in charge.

since roman took over chelsea, they have gone through roughly a manager a season, and that is only because mourinho stayed for 3 seasons. if we remove jose from the equation, they have sacked a manger just about every 7-8 months for "under performing". this is a debate that has been talked to death in recent years and there isn't really a right answer to it all. should clubs have followed chelseas lead? no. should chelsea have been allowed to carry on the way they did? no. but the clubs did, and chelsea got away with it all and the game is no forever changed. there is no going back. the only question that remains is whether or not you want your club to follow their lead forever. there is no avoiding it, either you spend big (but as wisely as possible), or you fight the good fight and be frugal. only bear in mind that if you do choose the more cautious, modest path, the best you can hope for is a top 10 finish. that mindset simply can't compete with the deep pockets of chelsea and the monsters they have created.

clubs like man city have now taken up the torch from chelsea and have even more money. they can without exaggerating, buy any player they want, and seem to know it. the game has changed and fight as you might, you can't change it back. some clubs seem to believe that they can however, spurs for example have spent wisely, sold wisely and developed their youth players wisely, and to their credit, they are currently in third place, challenging for the title against the juggernauts that are man utd and man city. good for them. but their stubbornness to spend isn't going to last long term. their big names will be lured away, and their wage structure will need to be compromised to keep the likes of bale and modric, or they will have to be sold. and if they're sold, and the money isn't reinvested (which i don't think it would be), we will see spurs slip back down in to the 7-10 places that will be easier for them to maintain. the likes of roman and man city are like small children, they want the toys the other kids are playing with and they don't like to share. just look at the fernando torres saga, liverpool had a shiny new toy, he was too good for chelsea when the sides met, and roman wanted the toy at any cost. the cost turned out to be 50 000 000 quid, and the toy turned out to be broken. his greed and arrogance cost him all that dough and has netted him about 5 goals in a year. unfortunately not all his purchases have been so rubbish, he has bought himself a number of shiny trophies. so i guess its money well spent. i am clearly not alone in thinking this, chelsea and man city have loads of shiny new fans who agree with me, funny thing is that non of theses new "fans" seem to remember much of the club before the money arrived.

fact is, you gotta spend to score and greed equals goals. thats the game now, and the big boys don't fight fair.







the chunky hipster

Saturday, 21 January 2012

madness, toys and presidents

this watch is for the kind of person who owns lots of stuff, like mines, yachts, you known the sort of man who has concubines and re-enacts scenes from scarface....... audemars piguet, mental expensive, and yet still seems like a good idea....











these are bear brick collectables, they are part of the hello kitty collection...featuring a hello kitty darth vader and a hello kitty daft punk duo, kill me now.....


obama is clearly a sneaker head too, here is is with spike lee, spike designed some custom jordans and gave the president a pair. go spike.




the chunky hipster

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

a brave new world..........

a new year is upon us. resolutions have been made,and no doubt already broken. for me this year is of greater importance than usual. for one, i plan to graduate, something that has been a long time coming and in the opinions of some, a long time over due. this may mean precious little to you, because you the reader, may have graduated already, maybe you already have a job, or perhaps you are at the other end of the spectrum and are still a student of some sort. to those of you still tied to an academic institution of some sort, all i can say to you is enjoy it, its over before you come to realise how important it all is. to those of you that have moved past that stage, i hope its all what you wanted it to be and you havnt just settled for an uninspiringly safe option.

one thing i have learned recently is that nowadays people are more inclined to compromise their dreams, their ambitions if it means that they can get a job today, so that they dont have to worry about not having one tomorrow. sadly, i have come to realise that these people have the right approach. in times like these, people just consider themselves lucky to have a job, a 9-5.

it seems that qualifications take the proverbial back seat to expirience in many cases nowadays. unless of course you happen to be a nuerosurgeon or the like. the only problem with this relatively sound theory is that it seems that this initial expirience is quite hard to come by. i can personally vouch for this, it seems that it can be easier for an expirienced individual to later gain a qualification than it is for a qualified person to gain expirience in a relevant industry.

the idea that a person has to be willing to work their way up from the bottom seems to be lost on my generation, which makes me more than slightly frustrated and leaves an entire generation of graduates at a self imposed disadvantage. all i know for sure though is that when somebody sees something in me that is great enough to allow them to take a chance on me, im not going to say no thanks, im going to take it and turn it into something special.

as children we are told to follow our dreams, as teenagers we are told to find something we love, and as graduates we are told to settle for a job. i guess things change.







the chunky hipster

Monday, 6 June 2011

technical difficulties......

it has been a trying couple of weeks, exams, internet issues and other such pooh have prevented me from my usual rate of blogging. i have been expiriencing technical difficulties if you will, all the problems are not quite resolved yet, so it may continue to be a period of no chunkiness. but hang in there people, im working on some stuff and have many new theories to introduce to the world.......




the chunky hipster

Sunday, 29 May 2011

i hate remix cuture....

the remix is a time honoured tradition in music, i posses many a remix, i have spun many a remix, but i am sick of producers being lazy and calling it remixing. i also hate the concept of pop music thieving tracks from house and electronic music. case in point is the new beyonce track, that beat is pon de floor by major lazer (diplo)... it was a huge elecronic hit in 2009/2010, and i loved it, i still play it, but now i know i am going to come to hate it. why/ because its now "that new beyonce track" and will get airplay for the next 6 years, once an hour. unoriginality breeding laziness in music.










the chunky hipster

Sunday, 22 May 2011

these are good.............

more minimalism and modernism for my design heads....................













the chunky hipster

Friday, 20 May 2011

politics.......sigh...........

so i have always had this theory, that anyone who wants to become a politician should automatically be disqualified from ever becoming one. that is not to say that one cannot be interested in politics, i certainly am, it was my minor for a while, but there is a difference to being politically invested and being politically motivated. but non of this is actaully what im getting into in this post, the purpose of this post is to voice a few of the thoughts that have been having a block party in my head this week.

this week was the week of local government elections and all the arguments that take place in bars that go with it. all of my social networking sites have been full of comments regarding he elections, most of which were of a "i am proud to have voted" or "i dont give a shit" nature. i personally didnt vote, my reason, not that i owe anyone one anyway, was that i am in jhb and i am registered in cx, i could have got an absentee vote, but i only discovered that after the fact. i have been genuinely impressed and amazed by all he voting-related status updates and comments and all the arguing that went along with it.

the arguments generally went along the lines of people questioning others on their motives for voting or not voting. i pride myself on a "whatever makes you happy" kind of lifestyle and mindset, so i didnt really get into it with anyone. when i comes to voting, especially in south africa, i think if you can vote, you should vote, simply becuase there were so many people not too long ago who would have literaly given their lives for a voice. the argument that voting against the ruling party really doesnt make a difference isnt really valid anymore, simply because voting scares the anc, it forces them to do a better job. anything is worth trying to make them do a better job.

so if you didnt vote, that is your right, just as much as voting is, i just wish people wouldnt take it as lightly as they do, on both counts. i also wish people would keep it to themselves. you dont have to share things like this. disclosing how you vote or dont vote serves no purpose and as i have seen this week, it causes more trouble than its worth.



the chunky hipster

Thursday, 19 May 2011

back on the scene, crispy and clean.........

so.... i'm back, its been about a week since my last post and since then some stuff has gone down. the reason for my lack has been a minor disagreement with an internet service provider. i wont name names, but mtn are useless...oops, did i let that slip? dont care, screw them, they have been responsible for my blog withdrawls.

so, i am currently in the throes of pre-exam panicing and cramming sessions. all i will say on that subject is that if statistical analysis was a person, i would kick it in the shins and wish harm on their firstborn.

this last week also involved the small matter of local government elections, a matter that has been debated at great lengths so i wont get into it much, but it is an intresting subject. the people from my generation that i have spoken to about this subject are literally split into 50-50, half voted (proudly, and purposefully) and half didnt vote (also proudly and deliberately). i didnt vote, not because i chose not to, but because i am registered in knysna but am currently in joburg.

so that is about all. i also have a few more food reviews and some other news to post, but i am a bit stressed for time so it will have to wait.

oh, and thanks for the hits and support. getting those numbers up mean a lot. really enjoying the process of seeing where this blog is going.

cheers.................



the chunky hipster

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

i wish i was black......

so upon my travels through the blogosphere this week i came accross this little gem. now, if you are like me, and love hip hop culture and all that goes with it, i hope you find these as amusing and awesome as i do, its not meant to come off as racist in anyway so please dont take offense,bitch. and im totally using this list when i have kids.................


top 60 ghetto girl names:

60. Latifah
59. Shaniqua
58. Latoya
57. Laquisha
56. La'Kisha
55. La'Tanya
54. Rohandra
53. Bon'Quisha
52. Sha'Tanya
51. Toprameneesha
50. La'Quishria
49. Bonifa
48. Shataniana
47. Levondia
46. Bufanaquishria
45. La'Quishraniqua
44. Barbeesha
43. Mo'Nique
42. Abduiniana
41. Fo'Landra
40. Kisha
39. Bon'Qui'Qui
38. V'Lanta'la'mana'ma'nisha
37. Sha'Nay'Nay
36. Tay Tay
35. Da'Quonde
34. La'Trice
33. Deedra
32. Tramicia
31. De'Lanice
30. Ka'Likatifrianiqua
29. Sha'Londria
28. Sha'Quonda
27. Elephantisha
26. La'Quaysha
25. Guuuuuurrrrrrllllll
24. Qua'Lifriaqui'Sha'Niquia
23. Cornbreesha
22. Congratulashayla
21. Barackisha
20. Obamaniqua
19. Koolaidria
18. Spongebobeeshia
17. Clitorisandrea
16. Fa'Nay Nay
15. Comptonia
14. Harlemisha
13. Beethovenice
12. Watermelondrea
11. Cellularphoniqua
10. Unidastazovamerikaliqua
9. Alejandrisha
8. King'Kong'Quisha
7. Fri'Chickenisha
6. Colla'Greeniqua
5. Grapedrankisha
4. Africanishaniqua
3. Que'Shayda
2. La'Taniana'Bo'Vanashrianiqualiquanice
1. Courtney

and now onto the dude names:


1.Jybonte
2.Davonte
3.Akwante
4.Johntae
5.Bicorian
6.Tevin
7.Tyrese
8.Trey
9.Jaquan
10.Keyshawn
11.Jakori
12.Jakobi




the chunky hipster

Monday, 9 May 2011

possibly my favourite movie scene of all time......

so, me and a few friends have a thing for hot rod. its pure comical genius in our eyes. a movie that we can all quote from scene to scene....this being my favourite.



check out one of my partners in movie quoting crime here:







the chunky hipster

Sunday, 8 May 2011

there is something wrong with the world..............

it makes me sad that these people are already more wealthy than i will probably ever be..... all i can do now is hope they all develope a coke habit and a blow it all (yes, pun intended).................








apart from michael cera, im not mad at him at all.




the chunky hipster

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

shout out to girls with insomnia..............

i have a brief theory to share with everyone (i say everyone now because i just broke 2000 hits.whaddup). my theory is that girls who suffer from insomnia are clearly inteligent, articulate and valued members of society. i say this because i think women who suffer from insomnia must have more ruuning around their heads, doubts, insecurities, worries. i like that, it shows a deepness, proves that they are not just another vapid individual. my theory revolves around the idea that vapid, shallow girls fall straight asleep, because they have precious little in the way of thoughts running around their heads.

im hoping that this post doesnt come off as sexist, or make me sound shallow for that matter, i can assure you that i am far from being either. its just a theory. somebody sparked the thought on facebook, and it started to take shape in my head. i think the reverse is true too, it can be applied to men as well from a womens perspective. use it dont use it, i could give a fuck.



the chunky hipster

Monday, 2 May 2011

thor, is a piece of cheesy pooh.......

so i know that there are more important issues in the world today, a truely evil man was put in a watery grave, but i went to see a movie, and once again, i feel the need to comment.

i went to see thor this afternoon, i dont want to get in specifics, but this is the worst super hero movie of recent years, its cheesy, badly scripted, edited and filmed. i wouldnt recomend it, but i know many people will feel compelled to check it out befor the next few super hero/comic movies come out (they are all connected, building towards one huge saga). the story line is almost laughable, at time incomprehensible and really not worth my ill gotten cash money.

i also want to add, that although i am blogging this (and am thus no better than the people i am about to criticise), i cant beleive the number of people talking about their relationships, friends, petty drama etc. on facebook and literally showing no acknowledgement of a significant moment in history. clearly, your relationship drama is far more interesting than an opponent to the free world and western civilization meeting his end. bigger picture people, a little perspective is in order, but oh yeah, thor sucks.dont see it.



the chunky hipster

Saturday, 30 April 2011

just because i love it..............or at least the idea of it......

i have a thing for new york, i have never been befor you ask, but i love the idea of the place. i think that is why i have thus far been reluctant to commit to actually going there and livving there. how can a place ever live up to what one has romanticised in their mind for a long time. its a place where it seems one can accompish anything, what if the opposite turns out to be the truth. is it better for me to keep the idea i have of the place intact, or should i try to make it the place in my head......until i decide, i like to use these as the basis for my fantasy.












the chunky hipster

wandering around my past.....

my family has a history in jozi, i think thats why i like it up here so much, there are so many places that mean so much to me. today, for example, i went for a quick lunch and a ramble around at the wanderers club. the wanderers is a huge part of my family heritage, my grandfather was the secretary for the quagga barbarians rugby team and an all around great guy. my parents had their weding reception there and my grandfather's wake also took place there. i have been going there since i was a baby, but i had not been back in the last ten years, until today. i truely love the place, its a throw back, part of the old world (think the playboy mansion meets a gentemens sports club), i love the bars, the underground billiards room, the ball rooms, you can really feel the history. its  a place where my grandad got drunk, where he took my dad when he started seeing my mom. im glad i went back, i will be returning for more often in the future, i need to keep my family prescence there intact.



the chunky hipster

Thursday, 28 April 2011

the secret diary of fernando torres............

Dear diary

I am still struggling to adjust. I keep telling myself that the move was the right thing but doubts creep in.
I don’t feel one of the boys here. At Liverpool I’d go into training, see Dirk’s face, and immediately feel better about myself. I miss this.
Today at training I made another faux pas. We were getting changed and JT dropped his armband, I picked it up and handed it back to him. Everyone went quiet. I had to go and stand on the naughty step for 10 minutes. Nnobody is allowed to touch his armband unless he hands it to them. I don’t even know why he needed to wear it, we were only going swimming.
That’s the second time I’ve been on the naughty step this week. We were playing five-a-side and Frank took a shot, it hit me then two defenders, crashed against the post and went in off the goalkeeper's back. I queried why Frank was celebrating so much as it was clearly an own goal. I had to stand on the step for 20 minutes that time.

After swimming JT tried to make small talk to build bridges. He asked me how my new house is and I told him it was great, but the drive was very narrow and I struggled to get my Range Rover through. He said he knew what I meant as it took him ages too. I don’t understand as I haven’t invited him around yet, perhaps it’s some Cockney nonsense. I nodded.

We then all had something to eat. I finished first and went to leave the table, everyone looked astonished. I was told I had to ask first, so I asked. JT, Frank, Didier and Ashley then had a five-minute debate about it and gave me permission.

The tactics talk for the Manchester United game was interesting. All about pressing and watching their key players, which areas to exploit, who is getting picked and how we’ll be set up. Mr Abramovich is a very accomplished speaker.

Ashley brought a gun in last week, this big rifle thing. I was bemused as to why but JT explained to me it was part of his new training ground tours.  Apparently the ‘punters’ had been concerned they weren’t getting value for their ten grand a go and so Ashley and JT are setting up a clay pigeon range so the corporates can do some team building after he’s showed them around the facilities. He told me it’s all part of being a captain and then touched his armband and growled.
It’s certainly very different here.

Fernando



the chunky hipster

Monday, 25 April 2011

no sleep til'..............................durban?

so, im back, i realise i havnt posted in a while, but iv been busy. give a guy a break gosh (napolean dynamite voice). so, its monday evening, iv had some beer, and im back on my blogging shit. this weekend i went away, we left on thursday, our destination was durban. i met a girl, she was interesting, she was rubbish at rock-paper-scissors and struggled on occasion to distinguish right from left (this i found slightly worrying, she is becoming an architect). but she did, get us some awesome waffles, and use the word vapid, i liked that, i know many girls who dont know what vapid means. i wonder if a lack of knowing the meaning of the word renders one the subject of the term....anyway, i like interesting people, so it was a bonus, im always worried though that i will meet an interesting person and they wil think i am boring (the nuerosis is strong in me),but im getting sidetracked.

we left for a place a little south of durban, it was nice, some people went diving, i slept in. i like that part of the world, its tropical, scenic, and thats high praise from me given the fact that i hail from knysna. so natal gets a thumbs up, its women are also not horrible to look at. we went for a curry one night (i know right, going for a curry in durban is like getting pasta in italy), the curry was good, and i dont like curry.



so all in all, it was a good weekend, a weekend of pleasant surprises accross the board. good places,people, food, it hit all the pleasure sensors. i also listened to a lot of great music, the beastie boys cropped up in the rotation a few times, this is appropriate due to the fact that they are apparently back in the white boy rap game. this is a good thing, the world needs more funky white guys, especially in hip hop, eminem really has too big of a market share.


these are the dudes in question for those who dont know......................





the chunky hipster

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

i like this......

how to avoid givving your child a hipster name:

1. DON’T NAME YOUR BABY AFTER A JAZZ MUSICIAN. No Ella, no Ray, no Miles. Nix on Billie, nyet on Bessie, never on Duke. And did you really think you were going to get away with Thelonious or Django? No and no. Lionel, however, is still genuinely cool.

2. NO NAMES OF GODS AND GODDESSES. We can blame the ultimate cool mommy blogger Dooce for this one. Her daughter is named Leta, which is derived from Leda, who was the mythological mother of Helen of Troy. And then, at the farmers’ market in Madison, Wisconsin, we heard a hipster dad calling to his toddler son, “Stop right there, Odin!” Zeus, Jupiter, Andromeda, and Pandora are all similarly hipster heaven.

3. AVOID THE NAMES OF HIGH-FALUTIN’ LITERARY CHARACTERS. Atticus, anyone? The more obscure and high-minded the character, the more hipster-worthy the name. So you’ll have to stay away from Scout, Daisy, Maisie, Holden and Gulliver. Soap opera character names remain safe if otherwise repellent bets.

4. AVOID THE NAMES OF HIGH-FALUTIN’ WRITERS. This is kind of a thin line. We’d say Auden, Austen, Flannery, Harper, Tennessee and Tennyson are dripping in hipsterdom; Edith, Eudora, and Ellison, still okay.

5. NO NAMES YOU MIGHT USE FOR A DOG. Prince, Duke, Max, Fifi: This kind of I’m-so-cool-I-don’t-care name should not be used for a human, even one you make yourself. Likewise do not name your dog Marian, Frederick, or Patricia.

6. IF A SUPERMODEL WOULD CHOOSE THIS NAME FOR HER BABY, STAY AWAY. Along with four-foot-long legs and cheekbones as wide as their shoulders, supermodels seem congenitally hip, and inevitably choose hipster names for their babies. (Yes, all supermodels seem to have babies.) Nameberry has a list of Supermodel Baby Names, which run toward choices such as Neva, Presley, and Sahteene.

7. SIMILARLY AVOID NAMES CHOSEN BY HIPSTER CELEBRITIES. Matilda hits the hipster list because it was chosen by hipster parents Heath and Michelle. Romy is Sofia Coppolla’s pick and Roman Cate Blanchett’s; Ramona is Maggie Gyllenhaal’s choice and Moses is Gwynnie’s. While you’re at it, you should probably not use names of hipster celebrities themselves: Isla, Ewan, Scarlett.

8. STAY AWAY FROM NAMES OF PLACES YOU WOULD NEVER GO. Okay, so Savannah and London are overplayed. Hipster parents have therefore decamped to Alabama, Indiana, and Reno. And from there it’s all too easy to wander from hipster turf into maverick territory: right, Bristol Palin?

9. DON’T PICK ANY NAME THAT STARTS WITH I OR Z OR ENDS WITH X OR O. If this whole issue is way too confusing for you, just following this one simple rule and you should be all right. Forget Iris and Isaiah. Zoe and Zane. Pax and Maddox. Nico and Orlando. Done.

10. FORGET ALL HIGHLY UNFASHIONABLE AND HIDEOUSLY UGLY NAMES. One earmark (Hi, John McCain) of hipsterism is being so hip you can be totally unhip, so cool you can give your kid a name that’s entirely uncool. Like Edna. Or Ignatius. Or Myrtle. But as important as it may seem to avoid names that threaten to turn you into a hipster cliché, it’s even more essential to stay away from those that might make your teenager try to kill you while you sleep.


the chunky hipster

the chunkiest of all the chunky hipsters....

this guy is super funny, the dude jonah hill is one funny hipster, and he is also chunky. so go him.






the chunky hipster

the best kind of hipster... the awkward hipster......

so i like comedy, especially the cringe-worthy and the nuerotic. actors of my generation seem to be able to play this role quite well, none more so than michael cera. he is so awkward you want to hide from the screen yourself, so good for him for going there. these are funny.






this guy is funny.



the chunky hipster